mmm hawt hawt.

I totally agree--an older, stable man is HAWT. Manly, macho, solid, hairy, muscle-y. yumyumyummy. MRAWR but, female twenty-somethings are not likely mature enough to appreciate him.

10 reasons why dating an older man is awesome

By Simcha Whitehill, The Frisky

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• He can introduce you to pop culture you missed out on, writer says
• Life experiences make him a helpful guide as you achieve your goals, she says
• Writer: "Nobody's perfect, and by now, he understands his main foibles"

(The Frisky) -- My new tall, dark and handsome boyfriend was standing across the room looking so fine in his shirt; I couldn't take my eyes off him.

It was my pal's birthday party and the first time I had ever dragged my latest man-friend out with my buddies.

I wasn't sure how it would go, yet there he was, charming the pants off them all by himself, busting out his A-material small talk with some friends in a corner. He was doing his best to impress. It was very sweet. He was going all out for me.

Meanwhile, I was at the snack table and before I could curse myself for leaving him to go in for another cheesy cracker, I was accosted by a buddy's wife I barely knew, a nasty woman named Sue. "How old is he?" she pried.

After politely playing 20 questions with Sue about my new boyfriend, I knew this was the one she was getting at. I wanted to say something like, "He's not as old as those frown lines make you look!" Anything that would shut her up and let me enjoy my prized romance.

Instead I shoved a cracker in my mouth and mulled over her question as I pretended it was hard to chew. It was more like her question was hard to swallow.

Yes, my new man was older than me, much older than me. But I wasn't some gold digger trying to claw at his cash account, or even a woman with daddy issues. I just thought he was the hottest, funniest man I'd ever met.

He was more exciting to be with than any of the 20-something guys I knew. I was smitten with his wit and the way he filled out a pair of pants. Really, are there better reasons to date someone?

Should I seriously have let 15 years come between me and happiness, just so I could avoid judgment from girls like Sue? I really should have answered her question with the long list of truly great things about dating an older man.

The Frisky: 9 inexcusable excuses for breaking up

He knows cool stuff you never heard of: Generation gaps can be a good thing culture-wise. He can introduce you to music and movies that are totally awesome classics.

The Frisky: 5 ways women try to impress men (and why they don't work)

He's super supportive: He's got a career and is secure in his work life, so he's totally supportive of your ambitions. And probs full of good advice! Not to mention the quarter-life crisis is kinda like the mid-life one.

The Frisky: Maybe its time to rethink your dating strategy?

Someone has already "fixed him up": That relationship didn't work out. And now you can reap the benefits of nice shoes and hand towels in the bathroom.

The Frisky: Factors in making love last (or not)

He doesn't stay out late: He might be a ladies' man, but after a certain age, he's not out on the prowl every night in da club lookin' for a fresh piece. He just wants to hang with you.

The Frisky: 6 heartwarming stories of old love

He knows himself: Nobody's perfect, and by now, he understands his main foibles. So, he can even communicate them to you to prevent friction.

The Frisky: The 10 best short hair moments of the decade

You're the pretty one: It's shallow, but it's always nice to feel extra sexy.

He doesn't want to be alone: He's already hit that point when men realize they don't want to be all by themselves. Even if they intend to stay confirmed bachelors, they still want company.

Salt n' pepper hair: So hot. Sure, not every middle-aged guy has got it, but it certainly ups your chances.

No more going Dutch: There won't be that awkward pause when the check comes; he'll always take it because a man of his years makes more money. You won't even feel the slightest bit guilty.

He is going to be this rad forever: Some peeps just lose their lust for life at a certain age, but your dude has still got it! He can not only keep up with your young butt, but he piques your interest. You know for sure that time doesn't slow him down. He's always willing to try new things. He's not going to turn into some couch potato all of a sudden. In another 20 years, he'll still be l-i-v-i-n'.

TM & � 2009 TMV, Inc. | All Rights Reserved

Steven Seagal

Steven Seagal. Come on people, have you kept up? The man is now a police officer. That's great. Everyone has to support himself. I got it. But Steven? He gets a "real" job and makes a reality show out of it. sort of. Who can take him seriously as a cop? Imagine being pulled over by him, or told to kneel down and put your hands behind your head. Chances are, you will laugh and look around for Ashton Kutcher.

Your Body

Are eyelashes sexy to men?
Lately, I've been noticing the commercials for mascara and thinking about this profound concept.

Never have I heard a man exclaim, "Dude, that girl has SEXY eyelashes!"

What do you think?

Thank God for Mothers!

This is a depressing song to me.

Jaded, depressing, hope this isn't really the way he lives.

cracks me up

Love the One You're With

Let Her Cry

Let's Get it On

I've been really tryin', baby
Tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long
And if you feel like I feel, baby
Then, c'mon, oh, c'mon
Let's get it on
Ah, baby, let's get it on
Let's love, baby
Let's get it on, sugar
Let's get it on
We're all sensitive people
With so much to give
Understand me, sugar
Since we've to be here
Let's live
I love you
There's nothing wrong with me
Loving you, baby no no
And giving yourself to me can never be wrong
If the love is true
Don't you know how sweet and wonderful life can be
I'm asking you baby to get it on with me
I ain't gonna worry
I ain't gonna push, won't push you baby
So c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby
Stop beatin' 'round the bush
Let's get it on
Let's get it on
You know what I'm talkin' 'bout
C'mon, baby
Let your love come out
If you believe in love
Let's get it on
Let's get it on, baby
This minute, oh yeah
Let's get it on
Please, let's get it on
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby
Stop beatin' 'round the bush
Oh, gonna get it on
Threaten' you, baby
I wanna get it on
You don't have to worry that it's wrong
If the spirit moves ya
Let me groove ya good
Let your come down
Oh, get it on
C'mon, baby
Do you know the meaning?
I've been sanctified
Girl, you give me good feeling

Nine Million Bicycles in Beijing

For some reason, this song makes me kinda sad, but I like it.

Personal Handyman? ummm.

Umm, now, I'm not saying I am tempted. Coz that would be admitting it. First rule of thumb, never admit it. :D

Personal Handyman - m4w - 56 (Anywhere in metro area)

---

---

Do you have a honey-do list and no honey? Or a honey who is all thumbs? I posted this ad several months ago, but have since caught up on all my work and thought I would re-post. I'm a home improvement expert, 30 years in the business, licensed and insured, with a bit of a wild streak. My preferred clients are single moms, professional women, or female halves of a couple. Areas of expertise include patching, massage, drywall, voyeurism, electrical, exhibitionism, plumbing, mutual xxxxxx, miscellaneous hardware installation, oral, general repairs, 3-somes, estimating and giving orgasmic pleasures. I'm very easy going, mature, experienced, and will bring no drama. What could be a more discreet way of entertaining a gentleman in your home than having a contractor type spend an hour or two and explain, "he was here to estimate a few things," or "fix the doors." Send me your thoughts, if you have a fantasy you can share it, I'm good with all preferences. I'm happy to trade my services for most reasonable offers. Remember, a project that may seem daunting to you may be ridiculously simple for me, so send me your wish list and we'll see if we can work something out! 56 years old, 6'2", 175 lbs., d/d free, vasectomy safe for over ten years.


Women only, please!

I'd Really Love to See You

I'd Really Love To See You Tonight
(England Dan & John Ford Coley)

Hello, yeah, it's been a while.
Not much, how 'bout you?
I'm not sure why I called,
I guess I really just wanted to talk to you.
And I was thinking maybe later on,
We could get together for a while.
It's been such a long time,
And I really do miss your smile.

I'm not talking 'bout moving in,
And I don't want to change your life.
But there's a warm wind blowing,
The stars are out, and I'd really love to see you tonight.

We could go walking through a windy park,
Or take a drive along the beach.
Or stay at home and watch t.v.
You see, it really doesn't matter much to me.

I'm not talking 'bout moving in,
And I don't want to change your life.
But there's a warm wind blowing,
The stars are out, and I'd really love to see you tonight.

I won't ask for promises,
So you won't have to lie.
We've both played that game before,
Say I love you, then say goodbye.

I'm not talking 'bout moving in,
And I don't want to change your life.
But there's a warm wind blowing,
The stars are out, and I'd really love to see you tonight.

Cold Shoulder

The Moocher

I'm already gone

Touch Me

Some things can only be adequately expressed thru the medium of music....

This makes me cry

This video makes me cry.

Anxiety

Source:- Counseling Center - http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu -

Understanding and Treating Anxiety

Everybody has some familiarity with anxiety. Anxiety is the feeling of worry, apprehension, fear and/or panic in response to situations which seem overwhelming, threatening, unsafe or uncomfortable. You may experience anxiety as an intense worry before a final exam, the nervousness felt before making a presentation, or the heightened alertness when you believe you are in danger. Anxiety is your body’s way of alerting you that some kind of action is needed in the face of a situation that is perceived to be threatening or dangerous. Therefore, anxiety can be useful or adaptive whenever it prompts you to take appropriate action in response to an anxiety-provoking situation. For example, anxiety can motivate you to study for an exam or organize a presentation or leave a situation that feels unsafe. However, anxiety can also be detrimental, especially if it becomes overwhelming and prevents you from taking appropriate actions or prompts you to take actions that are counterproductive. Anxiety may be detrimental if you avoid studying for a major exam that worries you, or if you cope with worry about your relationship by getting unnecessarily suspicious and then yelling at your partner. This brochure will help you distinguish between normal or expected anxiety that everyone experiences and anxiety problems which may require intervention.

Because the feeling of anxiety is frequently intense and distressing, it is quite normal to want to avoid or eliminate these feelings. However, this is not necessarily the best approach to anxiety. If you ignore or try to eliminate your anxieties, you miss out on valuable information about your life and about your options for dealing with unavoidably stressful and demanding situations. It is often a better approach to begin with assessing the degree to which your anxiety works for you or is excessive and a source of problems for you.

Since anxiety is a basic human emotion, like sadness, how do you know if anxiety is a problem? The following will help you determine whether anxiety could be partly responsible for some of the problems you are experiencing:

• Do I feel anxious more often than not throughout my day?
• Have I restricted my activities as a way of coping with anxiety?
• Do I experience panic or panic-like symptoms in certain predictable situations?
• Am I intensely fearful of specific situations or things (e.g., animals)?
• Do I experience acute anxiety in social situations?
• Have I developed elaborate rituals or thought-processes to manage anxiety?
• Is my anxiety related to a specific, traumatic event?

If you answered yes to some of the previous questions, you may have more specific questions about the anxiety symptoms you have been experiencing. The following are various conditions for which anxiety is the predominant feature.

Types of Anxiety

Panic Disorder

A panic attack is defined as a period of intense fear or discomfort accompanied by physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling and chest pain as well as cognitive symptoms such as fear of losing control and/or dying. A panic attack can be associated with any of the anxiety disorders, but panic disorder itself is characterized by recurrent, unexpected panic attacks and persistent concerns about having additional panic attacks.

Specific Phobia

The anxiety in specific phobia is associated with persistent, excessive and unreasonable fear when there is an anticipated or actual encounter with a specific object or situation. There can be significant anxiety and sometimes panic whenever a phobic person is exposed to the feared object or situation. Some examples of specific phobias include fear of certain animals, fear of heights, fear of blood or fear of places such as bridges or elevators.

Social Phobia

Social phobia is defined as a marked and persistent fear of a social situation or a performance in which embarrassment is considered to be a likely outcome. A fear of public speaking is one of the more common forms of social phobia. In all instances of social phobia, there is acute anxiety whenever the feared situation or performance is anticipated or encountered and there is frequently a strong desire for avoidance.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

The presence of recurrent obsessions and compulsions which are time-consuming, impair life activities, and are recognized by the person as being excessive or unreasonable are features of this condition. An obsession is defined as persistent ideas, thoughts, impulses or images which are intrusive, anxiety-provoking and distressing. A compulsion is a ritualistic behavior which is intended to modify or reduce the anxiety through activity or behavior. The most frequent compulsions involve washing and cleaning, counting, seeking assurances, checking and/or repeating actions.

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

The anxiety in Post-traumatic Stress Disorder is clearly associated with a traumatic event that the person experienced or witnessed and was associated with intense fear, horror or helplessness. In addition, there are recurrent, intrusive recollections of the events which are anxiety-provoking and distressing to the person. There may be avoidance of any situations associated with the original trauma and other anxiety-related symptoms such as hyper-vigilance or exaggerated startle response.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

The primary feature of Generalized Anxiety Disorder is excessive anxiety and worry which occurs more days than not for a period of at least six months. In addition, symptoms of restlessness, fatigue, concentration problems, irritability, muscle tension and sleep disturbance may be present. The anxiety is perceived by the individual as being difficult to control or regulate.

Treatment of Anxiety

If anxiety symptoms are interfering with your ability to do routine, day-to-day activities, or if you have restricted your life activities as a way of coping with anxiety, you should consider seeking professional help. There are currently a variety of highly effective interventions available for the treatment of anxiety, including psychotherapy, cognitive-behavioral therapies, and medication. If you seek treatment, the recommendations you receive will likely depend on the specific symptoms you are experiencing. All of the anxiety disorders are treatable and many individuals experience a full recovery from their symptoms.

What Can I Do?

It is usually helpful to identify the events surrounding the experience of anxiety:

• What provokes the anxiety?
• What thoughts or physical sensations accompany the anxiety?
• How distressing is the anxiety?
• How are you coping with the anxiety?

Exploring these accompanying events may provide useful information about the nature of the anxiety as well as possible strategies for reducing it. In addition, there are specific changes you can make that may help alleviate anxiety symptoms:

• Exercise or engage in some form of daily physical activity
• Eat a nutritious, well-balanced diet
• Obtain an adequate amount of sleep
• Seek emotional support from friends and family
• Focus on positive aspects of your life
• Establish realistic, attainable goals which do not rely on perfectionistic values
• Monitor how you think about stress and reduce and/or change thoughts which are negative
• Identify activities which feel overwhelming and reduce your involvement or seek ways to make them more manageable
• Consult with a physician if you are experiencing any medical problems
• Consult with a mental health professional if you continue to be concerned about your anxiety
• Reduce or eliminate the use of alcohol and drugs and limit caffeine intake
• Don’t engage in “emotional reasoning” (e.g., “because I feel awful, my life is terrible”)
• Don’t assume responsibility for events which are outside of your control

Helping an Anxious Person

If someone you care about has been experiencing anxiety symptoms, you can be a valuable resource. There is often tremendous shame associated with anxiety. If you talk candidly with the individual regarding your concerns for his or her well-being, it will often bring the problems out into the open. Emphasize that your primary objective is to convey feelings of concern and assistance. You can also always consult with a mental health professional yourself if you are concerned about how to talk with your friend.

Suggestions for intervening with an anxious friend

• Be empathic and understanding
• Don’t minimize the severity of anxiety symptoms
• Avoid critical or shaming statements
• Encourage coping strategies which don’t rely on avoidance of anxiety-provoking stimuli
• Challenge expressions of hopelessness
• Don’t argue about how bad things are
• Don’t become angry even though your efforts may be resisted or rejected
• Advocate for treatment of anxiety
• Consult with a mental health professional if an anxious friend refuses necessary treatment

Resources

1. [1] The National Institute of Mental Health Website
2. [2] The National Mental Health Association Website
3. An End to Panic: Breakthrough Techniques for Overcoming Panic Disorder. (2000). Elke Zuercher-White. Fine Communications.
4. Mastery of Your Anxiety and Worry: Client Workbook. (2000). David Barlow and Michelle Craske. Psychological Corporation.
5. The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. 2nd edition. (2000). Edmund J. Bourne. New Harbinger Publications.
6. The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook. 4th edition. (1997). Martha Davis, Matthew McKay, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman, and Valerie Winemuller. New Harbinger Publications.

Need Additional Help?

The Counseling Center Offers individual, couples, and group counseling for these and related issues, as well as information about, and referral to, other campus and community resources. For more information or to schedule an appointment, call the Counseling Center at 333-3704. All appointments are strictly confidential and prepaid through your student health fee.

---

Article printed from Counseling Center: http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu

URL to article: http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu/?page_id=195

URLs in this post:
[1] The National Institute of Mental Health Website: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/anxiety/anxietymenu.cfm
[2] The National Mental Health Association Website : http://www.nmha.org/infoctr/index.cfm

Click here to print.

Copyright © 2008 Counseling Center. All rights reserved.

pop in a coin baby

12 reasons to be glad about being single

12 Reasons to Be Glad You're Single This Summer

The weather's gorgeous and you wish there was someone special in your life to take to those BBQ's. Well, until that Mr. or Mrs. Right comes along, remember why being single can really be fantastic, too — maybe even preferable!

Add page to favoritesBy Laura Gilbert

Our country's freedom isn't the only thing worth saluting this 4th of July. Here, some reminders of why being single can be a real blast.

1. You get to go wherever you want and do whatever you want on vacation. If you hate cold weather, you don't have to risk losing toes to frostbite just because your sweetie is a ski buff. And once you get wherever you're going, if you decide to stay in the hotel room all weekend with room service and an on-site masseuse while ignoring the historic blah blah blahs? No problem... Nobody's gonna know!

2. You get to sing out loud — badly, without embarrassment — to your iTunes whenever you're home.

3. The remote control is all yours, all the time. And you don't have to worry about anyone else making fun of you because it's switched to Lifetime or hours of NASCAR coverage.

4. You can comfortably put up that Star Wars poster you've had since you were a kid or paint the bathroom walls petal-pink—after all, decorating isn't a team sport.

5. Your friends all instinctively make you their "...and guest" when they go to an event. You get prime invites to concerts (especially popular during the summer), weddings (ditto) and other ticketed events every time someone's significant other has to bail.

20,000 singles join daily...

View photos near you!

I'm awomanman

Seeking amanwoman

Between ages18192021222324252627282930313233343536373839404142434445464748495051525354555657585960616263646566676869707172737475767778798081828384858687888990919293949596979899100101102103104105106107108109110111112113114115116117118119120 & 18192021222324252627282930313233343536373839404142434445464748495051525354555657585960616263646566676869707172737475767778798081828384858687888990919293949596979899100101102103104105106107108109110111112113114115116117118119120

Near

Already a member?

6. You get to indulge all of your interests, no matter how bizarre, without negotiating. That means you can hole up with piles of true-crime books or drive an hour for the fairy exhibit at a nearby museum without ever having to explain yourself.

7. You can try all five of Cold Stone Creamery's July-only flavors... twice... before noon... and not have to hide the fact that you ruined your appetite for lunch.

8. When you get to the front of the line at Blockbuster, you know with certainty that you're not going to have to pay someone else's late fees for a movie you'd never watch.

9. You never, ever have to look over your shoulder before drinking straight from the milk carton. In fact, being single means you can leave the toilet seat up, the toothpaste cap off and your dirty undies on the bathroom floor. Let your inner slob run free!

10. You get to go to parties and barbecues without worrying that the person you lugged with you is bored, annoyed, or getting embarrassingly drunk. (And you get to flirt with every hot prospect there!)

11. If a sexy, brooding plumber with a mysterious past moves in next door and captures the attention of all the local ladies, you don't have to agonize over whether or not to leave your mate to pursue your one shot at true love. If things click, you're untethered, and it's game on, toilet boy! (For guys, substitute a pair of sexy blonde cheerleader twins for the brooding plumber.)

12. Nobody ever hogs your side of the bed, steals your covers, wakes you up with freezer-toes or flops his or her sweaty night-bod on you. And every single night, you nod off knowing that you're in the company of someone who really loves you.

Single girl Laura Gilbert is a freelance writer in New York City. Her recycling often consists of nothing but Domino's boxes and Gatorade bottles, and she's proud of it.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.

You are my Everything

BBW fetish or fancy?

Big and Beautiful.
BBW
Plus size
Queen size
We, they, are everywhere.
The issue is obvious---overeating.
Stigmatized, criticized, ostracized,
Still needing love and resenting the fact that it's so hard to find.
OKAY so there are men, apparently, who like BBWs.
Who fancy the lush, plush, huggable, squeezable oversized sex goddesses.
Why are those men viewed as freaks?
We don't view breast men as freaks.
Or thigh men as freaks.
Or men who like slender, wispy women as freaks.
Why are BBW fanciers considered freaks even by the women they love?
I have to say, I met one such man recently. Even I looked at him sideways, wondering what was wrong with him.

oh man, its like a train wreck!

Watch the whole skit here >> (better version)

Is he into me?

From now on, this is going to be my theme book. I have to grow up and do things right this time and just gonna have to bite the bullet!

Too funny!

This cracked me up. lol.

she said peanis! giggle.

The Man Song

AWWWWW poor baby. It's hard being a man.

cuddly bears

Scary scary. But can't tear my eyes away.

Give it a rest, Kirstie!

Jay Thomas' Lone Ranger Story

This cracks me up EVERY time!

Happy Slip, I love you

Oh MY GOSH uhmmm?

Basic Rights in a Relationship

Basic Rights in a Relationship

If you have been involved in emotionally abusive relationships, you may not have a clear idea of what a healthy relationship is like. Evans (1992) suggests the following as basic rights in a relationship for you and your partner:

The right to good will from the other.
The right to emotional support.
The right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy.
The right to have your own view, even if your partner has a different view.
The right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
The right to receive a sincere apology for any jokes you may find offensive.
The right to clear and informative answers to questions that concern what is legitimately your business.
The right to live free from accusation and blame.
The right to live free from criticism and judgment.
The right to have your work and your interests spoken of with respect.
The right to encouragement.
The right to live free from emotional and physical threat.
The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage.
The right to be called by no name that devalues you.
The right to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.

Okay, I'm having really DEEP thoughts right now.

Is this YOUR mother? If not, it's FUNNY lol

Hip Hop Flight attendent

Who says nothing interesting happens on the flight to Oklahoma City?

Hip Hop Flight Attendant @ Yahoo! Video

Steve Harvey's Dating Advice for Women

Steve Harvey's Dating Advice for Women

Though primarily known as a comedian, Steve Harvey is also a writer whose new book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" is intended to provide honest relationship insights that empower women. Learn more …
More on Oprah.com

One of the original Kings of Comedy, Steve Harvey is the host of one of the most popular radio shows in the country, The Steve Harvey Morning Show. His first book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, is shooting to the top of the best-seller lists, and Oprah says she loves everything it has to say!

Steve says this book has a special meaning for him. "This is the first project that I didn't do for money," he says. "Other than my foundation — mentoring programs — everything I do is for money. I tell jokes for a check; I'm on TV for a check ... But this [book] right here I did purely to empower women."

Read an excerpt from this best-selling book!

The Introduction In his book, Steve says the way a man introduces you gives good insight into the status of your relationship. If a man introduces you as a friend or says your name with no title at all, Steve says you have nothing. "We're very protective. We mark our territory. If a man loves you ... he's willing to profess it. He'll give you a title after a while. You're going to be his lady, his woman, his fiancée, his wife, his baby's mama, something," he says. "If he's introducing you after six months, 'This is ... Oprah,' you should be standing there going, 'This is going nowhere.'"

Man with a Plan Another thing women need to understand, according to Steve, is that every man has a plan. "Men don't come up to you to just talk. We come up to you with a plan," he says. "We're looking across the room at you, and we don't care about your hopes and dreams. We don't care about what your future holds. We saw something we wanted."
When a man approaches a woman, Steve says, he already knows what we wants from her, but he doesn't know what it will cost. "How much time do you want from me? What your standards? What are your requirements? Because we'll rise to the occasion no matter how high you set the bar if we want to," he says. "The problem is, women have stopped setting the bar high."

The Cookie Though a woman might want many things from a man, Steve says men only need three things: support, loyalty and sex. Or as Steve calls it, "the cookie." "We've got to have your support. Whatever adventure we're out on, whatever pursuit in life, we need your support. Then we need your loyalty. That's your love. We've got to know that you belong to us," he says. "And we've got to have a cookie. Everybody likes cookies. That's the thing about a cookie. I like oatmeal raisin ... but if you've got vanilla cream, I'll eat that too."

Kickin' It In Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Steve tells the story of his father-in-law's first introduction to one of Steve's daughter's boyfriends. "[My 26-year-old daughter] was dating this guy who was about 30. He had been over to the house about four, five times. And my father-in-law was visiting from Memphis," Steve says. "He's in the kitchen and he's eating and [my daughter's] boyfriend is in there, and [my father-in-law] goes: 'So, son, sit down. Tell me, what's your plan for my granddaughter?'" After plenty of hemming and hawing, Steve says the boyfriend finally said that the two were just "kickin' it."

Steve was pretty confident his daughter didn't have the same interpretation of the relationship, he says. "I said: 'Cool. Let's bring my daughter in there. Let's inform her that she's just being kicked ... let's see if that's what she wants to do," he says. "They broke up the next day."

Gone Fishin' Steve says men are like fishermen — but women are actually the ones looking for a good catch. You won't be able to find one, though, until you up your standards. "You've got sports fishermen, and you've got guys out there fishing to eat. You've got guys that are fishing to keep the fish, and you've got guys that are fishing to catch them, unhook them and throw them back," Steve says. "You've got to determine along the way which one of the fish you're going to be."

Without ironclad standards, Steve says you'll always end up back in the dating pool. "You've got to quit lowering your standards," he says. "Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks you, he has to know this is business."

And don't let the man set the pace of the relationship — Steve says it's always the woman who has total control. "With all that power, why do you suddenly relinquish this power just because you want a guy to accept you? That's stupid," he says. "Say: 'Look, if you want to be with me, this is what you got to do. This is what it takes to get to me.'"

When Should You Sleep with Your New Boyfriend? As an auto plant worker, Steve says he had to wait 90 days to receive benefits — and says the same probation period should apply to dating. "In 90 days they checked me out. They determined if I was easy to work with, if I got along well with others, if I showed up when I said I was going to show up, if I was worthy."
Women, Steve says, hold the greatest benefit of all — the cookie — so there's no reason to give it away until you know your man deserves it. "Slow down, ladies," Steve says. "Look, you cannot run us off."

So what if you don't want to wait 90 days? Steve says if you change the probation period, you do so at your own risk. "You all keep changing the rules. And men are aware of the fact that you are changing the rules. We're aware of the fact that you act desperate. We're aware of the fact that you think there's a good shortage of good men out there," he says.
"We play on all of that ... we created the term 'gold digger' so you won't ask us for nothing. We created the term 'nagging' so you can quit badgering us. These are terms that we created so you can require less of us."
Mr. Fix-It Steve says four little words can strike fear and dread into any man: We need to talk. "You just drove a nail in his forehead," Steve says.
Men are fixers, not talkers, Steve says, so it's better to get to the point. "When you say, 'We need to talk,' we put up the barriers," he says. "I tell ladies, just sit down and strike up a conversation."

Turn Off the Text Social networking websites and text messages can be a great way to keep in touch with friends, but Steve says it's not the best way to date. "You have nothing if you're texting a guy in a relationship," he says. "We can text six women a minute. We can text it and push 'reply all.' I mean, since we're lying, we might as well lie to everybody."
If you want the relationship to be more, take it face-to-face. "Women talk about [how] chivalry's dead. Chivalry's not dead — it's just not required anymore," he says. "You've got to get a guy in your face. Look in his eyes. ... God has given you all this incredible thing called intuition. You've got to use that."

Safety First You know you've got a keeper when your man wants to make sure you're always safe, Steve says. Every man wants to protect his woman, and Steve says this instinct kicks in when his wife, Marjorie, scuba dives. "I can't go home without her. We've got seven kids between us," Steve says. "They need their mother. I'm not a good mother at all."

Although Marjorie is a certified diver, Steve isn't a swimmer. "I have a security guy who can swim," he says. "So [he puts] on the snorkeling gear and when she goes down, I tell him, 'You swim over and just keep an eye on my wife.'"

Steve also has instructions for everyone else on the boat. "I told all the dive masters on the boat: 'If she does not come out of that water in 30 minutes, everybody in the water. Everybody. We're doing a dive search right here,'" he says. "I don't care if nobody [else] on the boat goes home. She goes home."

From The Oprah Winfrey Show "Oprah Fridays Live with Jennifer Hudson and Steve Harvey" © 2009 Harpo Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

hooked on Gwen Verdon

You have to watch the whole thing! Be a good boy do what JaykBee tells u TO



Want to know more? Also, here is an interesting article about Gwen later in life with a first hand account. While this next source isn't for academic research, it is often great for casual things you are curious about .. Gwen Verdon

Beyonce explained

Okay, sorry to pick on Beyonce, but this just cracked me up---coz it's so true! My own question: What is up with the glove on one hand biz.. hasn't that been done to extremes already?



Remember my previous post on the "Single Ladies: Put a Ring on it" video? This explains sooooo much (in I want to look away from the polyester gyrating mama hips but can't way).

Cleavage

umm excuse me? She didn't invent this. This started after the bra was invented! After all, it's hard to store things there without them being smooshed together and supported. On the other hand, you can store things UNDER a breast... remember the pencil test?

Woman Invents 'Cleavage Caddy' Purse For Your Bra

(CBS)

Click to enlarge

CBS

numSlides of totalImages

Need a place to stick lipstick, credit cards or maybe your cell phone without carrying a purse? How about sticking them in your cleavage?

A Northern California woman has invented something called the 'Cleavage Caddy' which is like having a purse in your bra.

Laura McLaren came up with an insert with pockets, that goes into your bra making it easier to hold items without the worry of a purse.

There are several different styles and of course sizes. The price is about $30 for the 'Cleavage Caddy."

(© MMIX, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)

Amy Winehouse--rehabbed out of a career?

I know that it has been a tough couple of years for singer Amy Winehouse. It's bad enough that she has been struggling with addiction, rehab and possibly an abusive co-dependent marriage but then with the paraparazzi following her around taking pictures of her partial nudity on the beach, it's crazy. Check out the video of her via the link below. Is it just me or does she seem bored? Maybe this is what she looks like performing when sober? WOW, that really does raise the question.... mm aww nevermind!
http://music.yahoo.com/read/news/61985594

Perfumes funny and fantastic!

My Antonia perfume




Happy Slip fragrance YaY


My Favorite Perfume*hint*hint*

Funny lol

Withholding Sex

I am sure that I am going to get some flack for this, but it's really been eating at me. What is up with women, wives withholding sex from their husbands? First of all, I know that I am not the poster child for the perfect marriage pfft, normal marriage.. A marriage or normal sex life. But men need sex. They do. Sure, they don't need it EVERY night or even as often as they would like it---but they DO NEED IT. In a committed relationship, that is intimacy for them. Men need sex, admiration, and occasional solitude. Heck, even women need those things.

Men need sex just like women need physical affection, nonsexual physical affection. Withholding either is just mean. If you love someone, why do you keep it from them because you're angry or because they didn't behave the way you expected them to?

Do you withhold affection from your children for the same reason? Do you withhold your love from them, your concern, your compassion? I would hope not.

Not giving your spouse what he/she needs is unkind. Think about it. That's all I'm saying. Just think about it.

Okay, bring it on.. I can take it.

Do you have love to share?

Some day, I hope to have a home, time and resources to share my life with children who need it. There are so many children in the world who need what we have---time,love, and wisdom. Making a difference in the life of a child is ultimately making a difference in the world. Pray about it.

What does it feel like to be happy? Answers here maybe.

Recently, I pondered the question “What does it feel like to be happy?” I really didn’t get answers from my readers. Possibly because I only have a couple! lol. Okay, so I am going to research it myself.

When trying to recall what happiness I may have had in my life, it’s hard for me to pinpoint a specific time; hence, my confusion. There are memories of my childhood when I would sleep in the sunlight shining through the screen door or pillowing my head on the stomach of a beloved pet while napping in the yard. I remember the first time my baby daughter really laughed and laughed in the way babies tend to do, hot humid nights spent making love to my husband in a far away country, a surprise tenth wedding anniversary ceremony arranged for him at the last minute, staring into the eyes of my baby boy, driving alone in my car with the windows down on a beautiful day.

The common factors of those snapshot memories include smiles, a sense of peace, satisfaction, and a longing to be back to those places in time. Contrasting those with other memories: feeling like I didn’t belong in my own family, a boyfriend who was ashamed of me, the first time my husband (lover) broke my heart, my father being injured in my home, death, funerals, illness, poverty, heartbreak, emotional abuse, separation, rejection, divorce, stress, loneliness which I KNOW are unhappiness---then maybe I HAVE had happiness.

There is an interesting article from Time.com about how happiness is now being studied by the psychological community who has long focused on fixing emotional/psychological problems but is just now focusing on what it takes to help people achieve happiness. Apparently, some of the things we expect to make us happy--money, power, influence, weather, education don't. Religion, family and friends are more conducive to happiness. The article references a 2002 study conducted at the University of Illinois by Diener and Seligman in which Diener suggests that "it is important to work on social skills, close interpersonal ties and social support in order to be happy."



However, what is "happy" for one person may not be for another. Some theorize that everyone has a preset happy range that they pop back to after difficult times---kind of like body weight. Equilibrium is another way of looking at it, I guess. According to Diener, there are two life events that people have difficulty bouncing back to that preset happy spot from: "loss of a spouse and loss of a job. It takes five to eight years for a widow to regain her previous sense of well-being. Similarly, the effects of a job loss linger long after the individual has returned to the work force." Don't despair however. There are positive things that we can do to facilitate our own happiness!



There are three categories in which we can work on improving our happiness quotient: maximize our pleasure in life, become actively involved in the things we are doing and look for ways to add meaning to your life.



Here are some suggestions that have been studied and proven effective:

- keep a gratitude journal. At least once a week, make a determined effort to write down your blessings. In the studies, those who did became happier vs. those who did not.

-do good deeds. Doing things for others-- help a child with homework, walk someone's dog, listen to a friend etc. Those who did at least 5 a week showed an increase in happiness.

- find your personal strengths and opportunities to use them. Are you good with children? Volunteer in the children's ward at the hospital. Are you a talented writer? find opportunities to freelance or write for fun. Go back to college, run a marathon, do something that will utilize/strengthen the gifts you already have.

These were all listed in the aforementioned article. I would also like to add a few of my own:

- get involved. Church, special interest groups, volunteer organizations, community events-- just getting out and interacting with peers can have a very positive impact.

- let the sun shine. Open up your curtains and let some natural light in. I notice that when I do that I feel better and more positive.

- always make your bed. If you are not much of a housekeeper a few key things will brighten up your house. Minimum-- make your bed and do the dishes. Just those things at the least will help you feel better about your life. Weird but true. Try it if you don't believe me!

A few words of caution (my own thoughts here)--- if you have felt gloomy, anti-social, sad, hopeless, and not wanting to live for awhile please see your docter and get some anti-depressants. They have really been helpful to me in my struggles lately.

When you do not know who to listen to, who to believe, cannot trust your own judgement, make decisions, etc See a psychotherapist. It is unbelievable how having an educated third party can help you get things into perspective. I did and will continue as necessary.

You won't need those things forever, but using them now will help get your life on track.

I am going to follow my own advice too and will let you know how it goes. Keep me posted on your progress! :)

Happy Bday, Drew!

Drew Barrymore turned 34. Isn't she a cutie? I have always liked her---she just seems likable. Ohmigosh, check out her Golden Globe picture. mrawr! smexy smexy! Reminiscent of M, no doubt, beautiful in baby blue too!

Don't forget her birthday present to David Letterman back in 1995. It's a classic!

I never understood the whole Tom Green deal though. They weren't married very long and his cancer stuff was all wrapped up in there with the divorce. While we are at it, please take a moment to become familiar with the signs, symptoms of testicular cancer.

I like Tom Green too although he is sometimes over the top and makes me uncomfortable. In some ways, he reminds me of my older brother. I'm a northerner, so I get the humor. Plus, he completely tortures his seemingly normal parents. lol. I didn't torture my parents, but I do have a tendency to torture other shy reserved people I care about. giggle.

Nicky Hilton, citizen extraordinaire

Looks like Nicky has taken her personal convictions to a new level. According to Access Hollywood at MSNBC.com, it seems she was pushed from behind while leaving IHOP. Although physically uninjured, Nicky was pissed! She turned around and made a citizen's arrest.

Hmm, I would like to have seen the encounter. How hard did he push her? Did he REALLY push her or just bump her? Are we talking like push as in push in front of the subway push? Coz, that would be an assault for sure.

According to news.com.au, it was a HOMELESS man who pushed her to the GROUND. Hmm, what was he doing at IHOP? (must have been bfast). Apparently, as Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department spokesman Steve Whitmore announced, "the 50-year-old homeless person, Michael Broadhurst, "came up behind Ms. Hilton and pushed her. She's OK, but she was desirous of prosecution. She said, 'I am placing you under citizen's arrest!' " DESIROUS? who the heck says that? lol. cheez.

Either way, citizen's arrests really don't happen very often. Have you ever seen one? What do you actually do? "Freeze, in the name of the law! I'm placing you under citizen's arrest!!" oooh even more intriguing... did she have her own handcuffs??? giddyup! mrawr.

Should the need arise, you can study all about how to make a citizen's arrest by clicking this link.

If it smells like a skunk....

Yesterday during my first hour, there was a strange smell in my classroom. Students were trying to figure out what it smelled like; I was checking garbage cans.... basically it smelled like skunk.

At the end of the hour, one of my lil Korean students went up to my desk and used my body spray. I didn't think anything of it, except that maybe they had been cooking in her house before school.

This morning before class, she came up wanting to use my body spray again. She asked me if she smelled. I smelled her sweater and sure enough there was a smell. I pulled my perfume out and let her use that. If Coco Chanel can't fix it, nothing can! I tried to make her feel better by telling how I had a similar experience from cooking stirfry before school in the morning.

The student said, "skunk, me" I thought she meant that she was the smelly one--- turns out she really did mean skunk! Apparently, a skunk got under her host family's home and sprayed. The smell has permeated her clothing!!! As soon as the other students came in, they were all gagging. So I quickly got her out of the room to the office and asked them to help her. Poor baby!!! lol kinda funny tho.

Wedgies hurt

I have always found wedgies to be a very effective weapon. Every sister has. You can just tell this lady had brothers!

Woman wields wedgie to subdue suspect
Technician says she saw man trying to break into a co-worker’s car
The Associated Press
updated 3:47 p.m. CT, Tues., Feb. 17, 2009

New Foreclosure Defense WOW

New foreclosure defense: Prove I owe you
Kathy Lovelace lost her job and was about to lose her house, too. But then she made a seemingly simple request of the bank: Show me the original mortgage paperwork.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29242063/from/ET/

OH MY GOSH can you say THERAPY?

OH. MI. GOSHHHH!!!!
I was reading Dear Abby as I tend to do, and this was one that completely flabbergasted me. Check it out!

DEAR ABBY: I'm 29, and my girlfriend, "Mia," is 25. We have been in a committed relationship for 10 months. A few weeks into our relationship I noticed that every time Mia was relaxing or riding in the car, she would suck her thumb. When she spends the night with me, she brings her baby blanket.

Mia used to be discreet about the thumb-sucking, but now she openly does it in front of my parents and our friends. She also sucks her thumb in front of her parents. From time to time they try to correct her, but when they do, she yells at them to "get off her back." When I mention it, she becomes upset and defensive and says she sees no reason to stop.

I care about Mia and don't want to hurt her, but friends and family have asked me about her habit. Is this just a bad habit or a sign of something else? -- LEFT WONDERING IN SEATTLE

DEAR LEFT WONDERING: Mia's thumb-sucking may be her way of relieving stress, or it could be a symptom of an underlying emotional disorder. However, if this is the way your girlfriend talks to her parents, you should recognize that it is also a sign of what you may have to look forward to in the future -- so be warned.

Uhmm, HELLOOOO!!!!! Yeah emotional disorder. Ya THINK? Run boy, RUN.

Beyonce Video: sexy or not?

Okay, so I just watched "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) by Beyonce---the video. What caught my eye was (again I swear I am heterosexual) the sexy picture of her by Scott Gries, Getty Images North America on getback.com. She looked pretty smexy, so I thought I would check out the video. Something about the video was off. I'm not sure if it was the costumes, the dance or what. The ladies looked short and chunky (in a sexy way). The dance seemed a bit awkward and not sure if it was sexy or not, frankly. Please watch it and give me your opinion. Thanks!

dancing in tiny white pants

I make no secret of the fact that I have a bit of a crush on Russell Brand.
He is a highly intelligent person, an admitted sex addict, and a comedian---what's not to crush on? This being known, my bestest friend gave me a link to a recent article in the Daily Mail.

Apparently, Russell picked up two blondes and took them home to his apartment where he engaged in some pre-mating ritual which included tiny white pants and gyrations. First of all, the blondes were total skanks. Anything that completely shows the shape of one's hooha is definitely skanky unless worn in the swimming pool or in the privacy of the home. Yes, the other sort of had hers covered but just barely.

Secondly, those girls KNEW what they were being taken back to the apartment for. COME ON, he is a SEX ADDICT for crying out loud.

Plus, I TOTALLY believe Russell when he stated that he believed the women were washer repair professionals there to fix his washer and that he was only preparing to wash his laundry, thus stripped down to his tiny white pants. The alleged dancing around, I'm convinced, could be attributed to the chilly temperatures. After all, it IS a human tendency to jump about in an effort to keep warm....

On the other hand, he could be reprising his role from his recent movie in which he engaged in a similar pre-mating ritual. I'd go for it!

Robots on the Battlefield

One of my favorite things to listen to on the radio is NPR (National Public Radio). Oh stop! I can hear your groans from here. If you are one of the ones who thinks that NPR is for nerds and old people, I suggest you give it another whirl. There really is something for everyone. If you don't have the patience to listen, check out the website-- http://www.npr.org/ You can even listen to the stories!

Browse your areas of interest. I always recommend it to my students, especially the AP ones. Great examples of educated discussions, articles, essays, music, history. You name it; they have it.

Okay, so Saturday I was listening to a very interesting discussion about the use of robots in Iraq. Apparently before the war, US had very few robot planes but now there are over 5000 patrolling the skies. At some point, the decision was made to arm the drones with weapons which has changed the culture of war significantly. There were little if any land robots in use but now there are over 12,000 on the ground in Iraq. They even have cool names like "Predator" and one type even looks like R2D2 of Star Wars fame, only bigger.

Some of these robots (drones) are used to find IEDs and to spy, etc. Now they are able to do what humans have traditionally done. This has led to some unique dilemmas, questions, concerns. What previously was only possible in the futuristic Sci-fi movie has now become a reality. Really makes one wonder how much of fiction is going to become fact!

It's not like there are soldiers hiding in a dugout with a joystick controlling these robotic devices either. Apparently they can be controlled from across the world--Nevada for example!! SO somewhere there is some military techno-geek sitting in front of his computer screen blowing up stuff in Iraq. Scary. Which brings me to the most pathos laden part of this story.

The young techno-warfare expert P.W. Singer who wrote a book entitled Wired for War, was apparently one of those sitting at a computer while a drone was being operated in Iraq. They had information that Chemical Ali was holed up in a particular residence and sent a drone in to bomb the house. The first attempt fell short and hit a house three houses away.

Once again, the device was locked, loaded and on its way when the men, via their computer monitor watched an old Iraqi walking by the targeted home, causing them to joke about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Seconds later, the screen went white with the explosion and when dust began to settle a flailing body was seen to bounce on the ground---once again causing the observers to joke around. A week or so later, Singer was face to face with an old Iraqi across the crater left by the bomb, listening as he described the horror of losing his family and the devastion from an earlier blast two houses down. All in all 17 civilians were killed but not the targeted Chemical Ali. He was captured later. It's one thing to effortlessly click a button, move a mouse seeking out and bombing a target half way around the world, but quite another to realize that what seemed almost a game resulted in real time traumatic devastation and loss of human life.

The young expert changed sides to become a proponent of human rights if I remember correctly. These robots are made by well known American companies. In fact, one producer of these drones is the one that makes those robotic vacuums. Interesting! The clincher is that ANYONE may purchase them!!!! Apparently, a private militia group patrolling the American-Mexican border uses them to assist in preventing illegal entry into this country.

The technology has limitless possibilities embedded with countless possible consequences. Sometimes, we seem so eager to develop new devices and technology that we don't take the time to fully survey the benefits and weigh them against the possible consequences. Think people, THINK!!! Listen to the full interview with P.W. Singer.

Read PCMag's article on technology and warfare.