JKBee's Deepest Thoughts

Trace Adkins radio interview

2011-08-01T10:59:00.001-05:00

I have some deep thoughts about Trace Adkins. His voice in my ear. *sigh*

Do Ya Wanna Touch Me

2011-03-08T02:05:00.002-06:00

Gwyneth Paltrow on Glee ---- "Remember children, when you have sex with someone, you are having sex with everyone they've had sex with and everybody's got a random"

misleading the masses (okay, masses? dubious...)

2011-02-19T09:03:00.003-06:00

I'm sorry for the misleading sub heading on this page. Not much commentary going on, nor deep thoughts! lol. It's rough, folks.

Parents nowadays sometimes fail to teach their children how to sit down and SHUT UP.

There. That's it. I would go on, but I'd hate to end up like THIS woman:

Trace Adkins - Brown Chicken Brown Cow

2011-02-16T17:19:00.000-06:00

He is just a big honkin cake of delicious man. OH MY GAWWW.

Snooki Want Smoosh Smoosh

2011-02-07T18:44:00.000-06:00

Hahaha. funny!

Styx - Too Much Time On My Hands

2011-02-03T21:43:00.000-06:00

Diana Krall - Walk On By (From "Live In Rio")

2011-02-03T20:40:00.000-06:00

KATIE MELUA- I CRIED FOR YOU

2011-02-03T20:35:00.002-06:00

You're beautiful so silently
It lies beneath a shade of blue
It struck me so violently
When I looked at you

But others pass, they never pause
To feel that magic in your hand
To me you're like a wild rose
They never understand why

I cried for you
When the sky cried for you
And when you went
I became a hopeless drifter
But this life was not for you
Though I learned from you
That beauty need only be a whisper

I'll cross the sea for a different world
With your treasure, a secret for me to hold

In many years they may forget
This love of ours or that we met
They may not know
How much you meant to me

I cried for you
And the sky cried for you
And when you went
I became a hopeless drifter
But this life was not for you
Though I learned from you
That beauty need only be a whisper

Without you now I see
How fragile the world can be
And I know you've gone away
But in my heart you'll always stay

I cried for you
When the sky cried for you
And when you went
I became a hopeless drifter
But this life was not for you
Though I learned from you
That beauty need only be a whisper
That beauty need only be a whisper

Trace Adkins - Swing

2011-02-03T14:01:00.000-06:00

whew. Have I mentioned that I find Trace soooo hawt???

Rodney Carrington - My Wife Met My Girlfriend (W/Lyrics)

2011-02-03T11:19:00.000-06:00

ill never smoke weed with willie again.

2011-02-03T10:50:00.000-06:00

Video Bonnie raitt i cant make you love me

2011-01-24T04:08:00.000-06:00

Young MC - Bust A Move

2011-01-23T16:52:00.000-06:00

Bee Gees (9/16) - How can you mend a broken heart

2011-01-23T14:31:00.000-06:00

When Should a Woman Have Sex With a Man?

2011-01-19T02:46:00.000-06:00

The man makes his best point toward the end of the article.

When Should a Woman Have Sex With a Man?

Still I look for a reason to believe

2011-01-17T11:17:00.001-06:00

If I listened long enough to you
I'd find a way to believe that it's all true
Knowing that you lied straight faced while I cried
Still I look to find a reason to believe

Someone like you makes it hard to live
Without somebody else
Someone like you makes it easy to give
Never thinking of myself

If I gave you time to change my mind
I'd find a way to leave the past behind
Knowing that you lied straight faced while I cried
Still I look to find a reason to believe

Someone like you makes it hard to live
Without somebody else
Someone like you makes it easy to give
Never thinking of myself

If I gave you time to change my mind
I'd find a way to leave the past behind
Knowing that you lied straight faced while I cried
Still I look to find a reason to believe
Still I look to find a reason to believe
Still I look to find a reason to believe

Tim Hardin

Lifehouse - Broken

2011-01-16T22:39:00.000-06:00

Bill Withers - Ain't No Sunshine

2011-01-16T22:20:00.000-06:00

Alex Gaudino - Destination Unknown (Destination Calabria)

2011-01-15T14:25:00.000-06:00

Thanks Ken!

Tenth Avenue North - You Are More

2011-01-12T19:10:00.000-06:00

Let's see some tummy, girl friend

2011-01-07T19:24:00.001-06:00

I never thought I'd be the one to say this... but the girl wears her pant waist TOO high. Let's seem some tummy girl friend. You look like an old lady.

Ryan Star - Start A Fire [Official In Studio Video]

2010-12-29T12:57:00.000-06:00

Emotions_Bee Gees

2010-12-20T21:49:00.000-06:00

Billy Connolly Prostate Examination

2010-12-18T14:45:00.000-06:00

Trace Adkins - This Ain't No Love Song

2010-12-08T17:00:00.000-06:00

Whew HOT HOT HOT, oh man .

Marcy Playground - Sex And Candy

2010-11-28T08:13:00.000-06:00

"Down On Me" - Keenan Cahill featuring 50 Cent from Chelsea Lately (Full...

2010-11-10T12:21:00.000-06:00

This is so cool. I think this rapper dude is awesome for making a video with the kiddo.

Kama Sutra

2010-11-09T22:36:00.000-06:00

Kid Rock - Born Free [Official Music Video]

2010-11-08T18:34:00.000-06:00

Gungor - Beautiful Things

2010-11-08T06:28:00.000-06:00

You make beautiful things out the dust. You make beautiful things out of us.

Katy Perry - Firework

2010-10-30T12:25:00.000-05:00

Trace Adkins- Hot Mama

2010-10-27T17:57:00.000-05:00

whew whew whew he is SOOOOO HAWT

Chelsea Lately: Trace Adkins

2010-10-26T21:03:00.001-05:00

I luv him. mrawwrr

Jessie J's Sexy Silk

2010-10-23T19:05:00.000-05:00

"Behind Blue Eyes ": Limp Bizkit, featuring Halle Berry

2010-10-22T13:45:00.000-05:00

James Otto - Just Got Started Lovin' You (Video)

2010-10-13T19:01:00.000-05:00

Brooks & Dunn - Play Something Country

2010-10-04T18:43:00.000-05:00

Eric Church - Hell On The Heart

2010-09-29T09:13:00.000-05:00

Kimya Dawson - So Nice So Smart

2010-09-05T17:47:00.000-05:00

Sugarland - Stay

2010-09-02T21:23:00.000-05:00

The Fratellis - Henrietta

2010-08-29T19:40:00.000-05:00

Glitter in the Air

2010-08-29T07:11:00.002-05:00

Glitter In The Air lyrics
Songwriters: Mann, Billy; Moore, Alecia;

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don't care?

It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run
The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar
You called me sugar

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight

© EMI BLACKWOOD MUSIC INC.; PINK INSIDE PUBLISHING;

Wife Sees Husband's 2nd Wedding On Facebook - News Story - WISN Milwaukee

2010-08-05T11:22:00.000-05:00

He stole her life right out from under her, then he stole her children!!!

Wife Sees Husband's 2nd Wedding On Facebook - News Story - WISN Milwaukee

30 Things Men Love That Women Just Don't Understand | The Frisky

2010-08-04T17:45:00.000-05:00

30 Things Men Love That Women Just Don't Understand | The Frisky

female condom

2010-08-04T07:18:00.001-05:00

Someday, when I have the opportunity to have sex... I might use one of these puppies--just for kicks n giggles.

Female condoms range from 'strange' to 'natural'

By Madison Park, CNN

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

Complaints about female condoms: noisy, unwieldy, plastic bag-like
A second generation version of female condoms uses different material and more user friendly
Chicago, New York, Washington, D.C., are promoting female condoms
Users review of female condoms vary, some say strange, others say it feels more natural

(CNN) -- They've been called noisy, unwieldy and like a plastic bag.

Yet, major health campaigns in Washington, Chicago, Illinois, and New York City are promoting female condoms to curb the spread of HIV/AIDS.

Although the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved female condoms in 1993, they haven't exactly been embraced.

After a second version of the female condom was approved by the FDA in 2009, HIV/AIDS health campaigns began distributing them in major cities and offering training on how to use them at local salons and community centers.

The condoms are another tool to empower and protect women from sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy, health advocates say. But the question remains: Will women actually use them?

Aside from the mechanics, the products are hard to find and cost more than male condoms.

They're pretty much irrelevant, said Alexandra Katehakis, a certified sex therapist and clinical director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles, California.

"It's too convoluted," Katehakis said. "The penis is external. It takes two seconds to put on a male condom. This could take minutes and women have to get into this contortionist act to put the condom on. It's not practical."

The newest version of female condoms called FC2 is cheaper and uses a non-latex material. The device looks like a long sheath with two soft rings at each end. One ring must be pushed with a finger into the vagina, much like a tampon. The other ring remains outside the body.

While the proper use of a male condom is frequently demonstrated using a banana, health workers show how to use the condom using a vagina model or a hand. Watch a demonstration here.

When tampons were first introduced, people cringed at the thought of insertion, but women eventually caught on, said Zoe Lehman, a support services coordinator at the Chicago Women's AIDS project.

"It's the same deal with female condoms - it's not complicated at all," she said. "People have the idea it's more complicated to use it because no one has shown them how to use it."

The device gives women some control in negotiating condom use, said HIV/AIDS advocates.

The reactions from female condom users have varied.

Casandra, a Fort Lauderdale, Florida, health advocate, tried the female condom several times, because she wanted to be able to answer questions about it. She asked that her last name not be used.

"It was a little strange to get it up there," said Casandra, who prefers the male condom. "In terms of inserting it, it was a little bit weird doing it in front of my partner. After it was in, it was OK."

Lynn, from Detroit, Michigan, who also asked that her last name not be used, said female condoms "move around more," didn't have the tightness and texture of male condoms, and had "more of a natural feeling." She and her boyfriend preferred them, but used them only for special occasions because of the price.

A box containing three female condoms cost $6.49. In comparison, a package of 10 male condoms sells for about $5.

Carol Queen of San Francisco, California, said "that some male partners like the extra movement they get" with a female condom. The downside: The condom could get twisted, she said. Queen, who works at a sex toys store called Good Vibrations, said sales of female condoms have increased since 2008.

Earlier this year, Chicago's AIDS organizations started promoting female condoms with the slogan -- "Put a ring on it" borrowing a line from the Beyonce song.

Washington splashed 460 Metro buses with ads to promote and to distribute a half-million female condoms. D.C. health officials used a $500,000 grant from the M.A.C. AIDS Fund to distribute and promote free female condoms. CVS/pharmacy stores also started selling female condoms in their D.C. stores in March.

San Francisco's health department has interest in the campaign too, according to the makers of the female condom, Female Health Co.

"There's nothing wrong with the male condom," said Mary Ann Leeper, senior strategic advisor at the company. "If you use it, fair enough. A lot of people -- male and female -- don't like it and have unprotected sex. What we say is it gives people options and empowers women to initiate a method if he doesn't use a male condom. It empowers her to take care of herself."

Having a female condom option increases the rate of protected sex, she said.

A 2003 study showed that women who were educated and supplied with female condoms were as protected as those who were only supplied with male condoms. But another self-reported study found that female condoms were slightly less effective than male condoms.

The latest public health efforts to promote female condoms are "a great way to start," said Dr. Christine Mauck, a researcher. "It's focusing efforts in places where the device is really useful and hoping the positive effect will spread out."

CNN's Rachel Streitfeld contributed to this report.

Blame The Booty LIVE

2010-07-28T11:27:00.000-05:00

So how about a blowjob??

2010-07-27T12:30:00.000-05:00

The Irish Mental Health Hotline Answering Machine

2010-07-23T19:26:00.000-05:00

2010-07-18T18:55:00.001-05:00

Do you always trust your first initial feeling?
Special knowledge holds true, bears believing

I turned around and the water was closing all around like a glove
Like the love that finally found me
Then I knew in the crystaline knowledge of you
Drove me through the mountains
Through the crystal like and clear water fountain
Drove me like a magnet
To the sea
To the sea

How the faces of love have changed turning the pages
And I have changed, oh, but you, you remain ageless

Like the love that finally found me
Then I knew in the crystaline knowledge of you
Drove me through the mountains
Through the crystal like and clear water fountain
Drove me like a magnet
To the sea
To the sea

Old Crow Medicine Show - Wagon Wheel

2010-07-16T06:27:00.000-05:00

Tea Party Member Stuns Crowd! ORIGINAL!!!

2010-07-11T23:27:00.000-05:00

Why Women Get Friskier As They Near 40 | The Frisky

2010-07-10T21:47:00.000-05:00

Is this really a surprise to anyone?

Why Women Get Friskier As They Near 40 | The Frisky

Luke Bryan - Do I

2010-07-02T06:27:00.000-05:00

Luke Bryan - Country Man

2010-07-02T06:18:00.000-05:00

MAID BETTY PAGE

2010-07-01T15:59:00.000-05:00

98º - I Do (Cherish You)

2010-07-01T12:25:00.000-05:00

Kool & The Gang - Cherish

2010-07-01T12:22:00.000-05:00

GRANDPA GAGA DANCE!!!

2010-06-30T13:11:00.000-05:00

The young'uns can barely keep up. That's no jig!!!!!

Broken Arrow Angel rapist will spend the rest of his life behind bars

2010-06-30T11:03:00.000-05:00

If he doesn't know what that kind of experience feels like, I'm thinking he will soon.
Broken Arrow Angel rapist will spend the rest of his life behind bars

whew hot hot hawt

2010-02-13T09:54:00.003-06:00

It's funny. I've never been one to look at other men, to crush on, drool over,etc. However,that's all changed now that I am in my forties and single. Suddenly, when I see a man who gets my attention, I'm looking at him like the lion looked at the zebra's backside in Madagascar. I love men. mrawr.

Currently, (this particular second anyway) I'm totally crushing on Trace Adkin---especially from his video Hot Mama
giddyup!!!

Another man who for whatever reason makes me totally hungry is Matt from Operation Repo.
Sigh. I could totally climb that tree. mrawr.

I luuu you

2010-01-30T19:49:00.000-06:00

Rubenesque

2010-01-10T23:34:00.000-06:00

ummmm

2010-01-02T01:20:00.000-06:00

Hilarious Shake Weight Exercise for Women - Watch more Funny Videos

mmm hawt hawt.

2009-12-31T19:30:00.003-06:00

I totally agree--an older, stable man is HAWT. Manly, macho, solid, hairy, muscle-y. yumyumyummy. MRAWR but, female twenty-somethings are not likely mature enough to appreciate him.

10 reasons why dating an older man is awesome

By Simcha Whitehill, The Frisky

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

He can introduce you to pop culture you missed out on, writer says
Life experiences make him a helpful guide as you achieve your goals, she says
Writer: "Nobody's perfect, and by now, he understands his main foibles"

(The Frisky) -- My new tall, dark and handsome boyfriend was standing across the room looking so fine in his shirt; I couldn't take my eyes off him.

It was my pal's birthday party and the first time I had ever dragged my latest man-friend out with my buddies.

I wasn't sure how it would go, yet there he was, charming the pants off them all by himself, busting out his A-material small talk with some friends in a corner. He was doing his best to impress. It was very sweet. He was going all out for me.

Meanwhile, I was at the snack table and before I could curse myself for leaving him to go in for another cheesy cracker, I was accosted by a buddy's wife I barely knew, a nasty woman named Sue. "How old is he?" she pried.

After politely playing 20 questions with Sue about my new boyfriend, I knew this was the one she was getting at. I wanted to say something like, "He's not as old as those frown lines make you look!" Anything that would shut her up and let me enjoy my prized romance.

Instead I shoved a cracker in my mouth and mulled over her question as I pretended it was hard to chew. It was more like her question was hard to swallow.

Yes, my new man was older than me, much older than me. But I wasn't some gold digger trying to claw at his cash account, or even a woman with daddy issues. I just thought he was the hottest, funniest man I'd ever met.

He was more exciting to be with than any of the 20-something guys I knew. I was smitten with his wit and the way he filled out a pair of pants. Really, are there better reasons to date someone?

Should I seriously have let 15 years come between me and happiness, just so I could avoid judgment from girls like Sue? I really should have answered her question with the long list of truly great things about dating an older man.

The Frisky: 9 inexcusable excuses for breaking up

He knows cool stuff you never heard of: Generation gaps can be a good thing culture-wise. He can introduce you to music and movies that are totally awesome classics.

The Frisky: 5 ways women try to impress men (and why they don't work)

He's super supportive: He's got a career and is secure in his work life, so he's totally supportive of your ambitions. And probs full of good advice! Not to mention the quarter-life crisis is kinda like the mid-life one.

The Frisky: Maybe its time to rethink your dating strategy?

Someone has already "fixed him up": That relationship didn't work out. And now you can reap the benefits of nice shoes and hand towels in the bathroom.

The Frisky: Factors in making love last (or not)

He doesn't stay out late: He might be a ladies' man, but after a certain age, he's not out on the prowl every night in da club lookin' for a fresh piece. He just wants to hang with you.

The Frisky: 6 heartwarming stories of old love

He knows himself: Nobody's perfect, and by now, he understands his main foibles. So, he can even communicate them to you to prevent friction.

The Frisky: The 10 best short hair moments of the decade

You're the pretty one: It's shallow, but it's always nice to feel extra sexy.

He doesn't want to be alone: He's already hit that point when men realize they don't want to be all by themselves. Even if they intend to stay confirmed bachelors, they still want company.

Salt n' pepper hair: So hot. Sure, not every middle-aged guy has got it, but it certainly ups your chances.

No more going Dutch: There won't be that awkward pause when the check comes; he'll always take it because a man of his years makes more money. You won't even feel the slightest bit guilty.

He is going to be this rad forever: Some peeps just lose their lust for life at a certain age, but your dude has still got it! He can not only keep up with your young butt, but he piques your interest. You know for sure that time doesn't slow him down. He's always willing to try new things. He's not going to turn into some couch potato all of a sudden. In another 20 years, he'll still be l-i-v-i-n'.

Steven Seagal

2009-12-29T19:53:00.003-06:00

Steven Seagal. Come on people, have you kept up? The man is now a police officer. That's great. Everyone has to support himself. I got it. But Steven? He gets a "real" job and makes a reality show out of it. sort of. Who can take him seriously as a cop? Imagine being pulled over by him, or told to kneel down and put your hands behind your head. Chances are, you will laugh and look around for Ashton Kutcher.

Your Body

2009-12-29T19:27:00.004-06:00

What makes a man feel like this about a woman? Is it all sex?

2009-12-05T14:51:00.002-06:00

Are eyelashes sexy to men?
Lately, I've been noticing the commercials for mascara and thinking about this profound concept.

Never have I heard a man exclaim, "Dude, that girl has SEXY eyelashes!"

What do you think?

Thank God for Mothers!

2009-10-27T20:00:00.001-05:00

This is a depressing song to me.

2009-10-15T20:35:00.004-05:00

Jaded, depressing, hope this isn't really the way he lives.

cracks me up

2009-10-02T22:31:00.000-05:00

You Belong to Me

2009-09-29T22:51:00.000-05:00

Love the One You're With

2009-09-29T22:43:00.002-05:00

Let Her Cry

2009-09-10T21:11:00.000-05:00

Let's Get it On

2009-09-05T14:53:00.000-05:00

I've been really tryin', baby
Tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long
And if you feel like I feel, baby
Then, c'mon, oh, c'mon
Let's get it on
Ah, baby, let's get it on
Let's love, baby
Let's get it on, sugar
Let's get it on
We're all sensitive people
With so much to give
Understand me, sugar
Since we've to be here
Let's live
I love you
There's nothing wrong with me
Loving you, baby no no
And giving yourself to me can never be wrong
If the love is true
Don't you know how sweet and wonderful life can be
I'm asking you baby to get it on with me
I ain't gonna worry
I ain't gonna push, won't push you baby
So c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby
Stop beatin' 'round the bush
Let's get it on
Let's get it on
You know what I'm talkin' 'bout
C'mon, baby
Let your love come out
If you believe in love
Let's get it on
Let's get it on, baby
This minute, oh yeah
Let's get it on
Please, let's get it on
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby
Stop beatin' 'round the bush
Oh, gonna get it on
Threaten' you, baby
I wanna get it on
You don't have to worry that it's wrong
If the spirit moves ya
Let me groove ya good
Let your come down
Oh, get it on
C'mon, baby
Do you know the meaning?
I've been sanctified
Girl, you give me good feeling

Nine Million Bicycles in Beijing

2009-09-01T06:52:00.001-05:00

For some reason, this song makes me kinda sad, but I like it.

Personal Handyman? ummm.

2009-08-31T20:32:00.003-05:00

Umm, now, I'm not saying I am tempted. Coz that would be admitting it. First rule of thumb, never admit it. :D

Personal Handyman - m4w - 56 (Anywhere in metro area)

Do you have a honey-do list and no honey? Or a honey who is all thumbs? I posted this ad several months ago, but have since caught up on all my work and thought I would re-post. I'm a home improvement expert, 30 years in the business, licensed and insured, with a bit of a wild streak. My preferred clients are single moms, professional women, or female halves of a couple. Areas of expertise include patching, massage, drywall, voyeurism, electrical, exhibitionism, plumbing, mutual xxxxxx, miscellaneous hardware installation, oral, general repairs, 3-somes, estimating and giving orgasmic pleasures. I'm very easy going, mature, experienced, and will bring no drama. What could be a more discreet way of entertaining a gentleman in your home than having a contractor type spend an hour or two and explain, "he was here to estimate a few things," or "fix the doors." Send me your thoughts, if you have a fantasy you can share it, I'm good with all preferences. I'm happy to trade my services for most reasonable offers. Remember, a project that may seem daunting to you may be ridiculously simple for me, so send me your wish list and we'll see if we can work something out! 56 years old, 6'2", 175 lbs., d/d free, vasectomy safe for over ten years.

Women only, please!

I'd Really Love to See You

2009-08-31T20:22:00.002-05:00

I'd Really Love To See You Tonight
(England Dan & John Ford Coley)

Hello, yeah, it's been a while.
Not much, how 'bout you?
I'm not sure why I called,
I guess I really just wanted to talk to you.
And I was thinking maybe later on,
We could get together for a while.
It's been such a long time,
And I really do miss your smile.

I'm not talking 'bout moving in,
And I don't want to change your life.
But there's a warm wind blowing,
The stars are out, and I'd really love to see you tonight.

We could go walking through a windy park,
Or take a drive along the beach.
Or stay at home and watch t.v.
You see, it really doesn't matter much to me.

I'm not talking 'bout moving in,
And I don't want to change your life.
But there's a warm wind blowing,
The stars are out, and I'd really love to see you tonight.

I won't ask for promises,
So you won't have to lie.
We've both played that game before,
Say I love you, then say goodbye.

I'm not talking 'bout moving in,
And I don't want to change your life.
But there's a warm wind blowing,
The stars are out, and I'd really love to see you tonight.

Cold Shoulder

2009-08-15T19:45:00.000-05:00

The Moocher

2009-07-30T22:51:00.001-05:00

I'm already gone

2009-07-29T09:16:00.004-05:00

Touch Me

2009-07-18T00:00:00.001-05:00

Some things can only be adequately expressed thru the medium of music....

This makes me cry

2009-07-16T09:12:00.000-05:00

This video makes me cry.

Anxiety

2009-07-06T22:04:00.001-05:00

Source:- Counseling Center - http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu -

Understanding and Treating Anxiety

Everybody has some familiarity with anxiety. Anxiety is the feeling of worry, apprehension, fear and/or panic in response to situations which seem overwhelming, threatening, unsafe or uncomfortable. You may experience anxiety as an intense worry before a final exam, the nervousness felt before making a presentation, or the heightened alertness when you believe you are in danger. Anxiety is your body’s way of alerting you that some kind of action is needed in the face of a situation that is perceived to be threatening or dangerous. Therefore, anxiety can be useful or adaptive whenever it prompts you to take appropriate action in response to an anxiety-provoking situation. For example, anxiety can motivate you to study for an exam or organize a presentation or leave a situation that feels unsafe. However, anxiety can also be detrimental, especially if it becomes overwhelming and prevents you from taking appropriate actions or prompts you to take actions that are counterproductive. Anxiety may be detrimental if you avoid studying for a major exam that worries you, or if you cope with worry about your relationship by getting unnecessarily suspicious and then yelling at your partner. This brochure will help you distinguish between normal or expected anxiety that everyone experiences and anxiety problems which may require intervention.

Because the feeling of anxiety is frequently intense and distressing, it is quite normal to want to avoid or eliminate these feelings. However, this is not necessarily the best approach to anxiety. If you ignore or try to eliminate your anxieties, you miss out on valuable information about your life and about your options for dealing with unavoidably stressful and demanding situations. It is often a better approach to begin with assessing the degree to which your anxiety works for you or is excessive and a source of problems for you.

Since anxiety is a basic human emotion, like sadness, how do you know if anxiety is a problem? The following will help you determine whether anxiety could be partly responsible for some of the problems you are experiencing:

Do I feel anxious more often than not throughout my day?
Have I restricted my activities as a way of coping with anxiety?
Do I experience panic or panic-like symptoms in certain predictable situations?
Am I intensely fearful of specific situations or things (e.g., animals)?
Do I experience acute anxiety in social situations?
Have I developed elaborate rituals or thought-processes to manage anxiety?
Is my anxiety related to a specific, traumatic event?

If you answered yes to some of the previous questions, you may have more specific questions about the anxiety symptoms you have been experiencing. The following are various conditions for which anxiety is the predominant feature.

Types of Anxiety

Panic Disorder

A panic attack is defined as a period of intense fear or discomfort accompanied by physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling and chest pain as well as cognitive symptoms such as fear of losing control and/or dying. A panic attack can be associated with any of the anxiety disorders, but panic disorder itself is characterized by recurrent, unexpected panic attacks and persistent concerns about having additional panic attacks.

Specific Phobia

The anxiety in specific phobia is associated with persistent, excessive and unreasonable fear when there is an anticipated or actual encounter with a specific object or situation. There can be significant anxiety and sometimes panic whenever a phobic person is exposed to the feared object or situation. Some examples of specific phobias include fear of certain animals, fear of heights, fear of blood or fear of places such as bridges or elevators.

Social Phobia

Social phobia is defined as a marked and persistent fear of a social situation or a performance in which embarrassment is considered to be a likely outcome. A fear of public speaking is one of the more common forms of social phobia. In all instances of social phobia, there is acute anxiety whenever the feared situation or performance is anticipated or encountered and there is frequently a strong desire for avoidance.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

The presence of recurrent obsessions and compulsions which are time-consuming, impair life activities, and are recognized by the person as being excessive or unreasonable are features of this condition. An obsession is defined as persistent ideas, thoughts, impulses or images which are intrusive, anxiety-provoking and distressing. A compulsion is a ritualistic behavior which is intended to modify or reduce the anxiety through activity or behavior. The most frequent compulsions involve washing and cleaning, counting, seeking assurances, checking and/or repeating actions.

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

The anxiety in Post-traumatic Stress Disorder is clearly associated with a traumatic event that the person experienced or witnessed and was associated with intense fear, horror or helplessness. In addition, there are recurrent, intrusive recollections of the events which are anxiety-provoking and distressing to the person. There may be avoidance of any situations associated with the original trauma and other anxiety-related symptoms such as hyper-vigilance or exaggerated startle response.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

The primary feature of Generalized Anxiety Disorder is excessive anxiety and worry which occurs more days than not for a period of at least six months. In addition, symptoms of restlessness, fatigue, concentration problems, irritability, muscle tension and sleep disturbance may be present. The anxiety is perceived by the individual as being difficult to control or regulate.

Treatment of Anxiety

If anxiety symptoms are interfering with your ability to do routine, day-to-day activities, or if you have restricted your life activities as a way of coping with anxiety, you should consider seeking professional help. There are currently a variety of highly effective interventions available for the treatment of anxiety, including psychotherapy, cognitive-behavioral therapies, and medication. If you seek treatment, the recommendations you receive will likely depend on the specific symptoms you are experiencing. All of the anxiety disorders are treatable and many individuals experience a full recovery from their symptoms.

What Can I Do?

It is usually helpful to identify the events surrounding the experience of anxiety:

What provokes the anxiety?
What thoughts or physical sensations accompany the anxiety?
How distressing is the anxiety?
How are you coping with the anxiety?

Exploring these accompanying events may provide useful information about the nature of the anxiety as well as possible strategies for reducing it. In addition, there are specific changes you can make that may help alleviate anxiety symptoms:

Exercise or engage in some form of daily physical activity
Eat a nutritious, well-balanced diet
Obtain an adequate amount of sleep
Seek emotional support from friends and family
Focus on positive aspects of your life
Establish realistic, attainable goals which do not rely on perfectionistic values
Monitor how you think about stress and reduce and/or change thoughts which are negative
Identify activities which feel overwhelming and reduce your involvement or seek ways to make them more manageable
Consult with a physician if you are experiencing any medical problems
Consult with a mental health professional if you continue to be concerned about your anxiety
Reduce or eliminate the use of alcohol and drugs and limit caffeine intake
Don’t engage in “emotional reasoning” (e.g., “because I feel awful, my life is terrible”)
Don’t assume responsibility for events which are outside of your control

Helping an Anxious Person

If someone you care about has been experiencing anxiety symptoms, you can be a valuable resource. There is often tremendous shame associated with anxiety. If you talk candidly with the individual regarding your concerns for his or her well-being, it will often bring the problems out into the open. Emphasize that your primary objective is to convey feelings of concern and assistance. You can also always consult with a mental health professional yourself if you are concerned about how to talk with your friend.

Suggestions for intervening with an anxious friend

Be empathic and understanding
Don’t minimize the severity of anxiety symptoms
Avoid critical or shaming statements
Encourage coping strategies which don’t rely on avoidance of anxiety-provoking stimuli
Challenge expressions of hopelessness
Don’t argue about how bad things are
Don’t become angry even though your efforts may be resisted or rejected
Advocate for treatment of anxiety
Consult with a mental health professional if an anxious friend refuses necessary treatment

Resources

[1] The National Institute of Mental Health Website
[2] The National Mental Health Association Website
An End to Panic: Breakthrough Techniques for Overcoming Panic Disorder. (2000). Elke Zuercher-White. Fine Communications.
Mastery of Your Anxiety and Worry: Client Workbook. (2000). David Barlow and Michelle Craske. Psychological Corporation.
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. 2nd edition. (2000). Edmund J. Bourne. New Harbinger Publications.
The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook. 4th edition. (1997). Martha Davis, Matthew McKay, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman, and Valerie Winemuller. New Harbinger Publications.

Need Additional Help?

The Counseling Center Offers individual, couples, and group counseling for these and related issues, as well as information about, and referral to, other campus and community resources. For more information or to schedule an appointment, call the Counseling Center at 333-3704. All appointments are strictly confidential and prepaid through your student health fee.

Article printed from Counseling Center: http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu

URL to article: http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu/?page_id=195

URLs in this post:
[1] The National Institute of Mental Health Website: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/anxiety/anxietymenu.cfm
[2] The National Mental Health Association Website : http://www.nmha.org/infoctr/index.cfm

Click here to print.

pop in a coin baby

2009-07-03T17:29:00.001-05:00

It's hotter than a Hooter girl's coin slot outside today!

12 reasons to be glad about being single

2009-07-03T14:13:00.000-05:00

12 Reasons to Be Glad You're Single This Summer

The weather's gorgeous and you wish there was someone special in your life to take to those BBQ's. Well, until that Mr. or Mrs. Right comes along, remember why being single can really be fantastic, too — maybe even preferable!

Add page to favoritesBy Laura Gilbert

Our country's freedom isn't the only thing worth saluting this 4th of July. Here, some reminders of why being single can be a real blast.

1. You get to go wherever you want and do whatever you want on vacation. If you hate cold weather, you don't have to risk losing toes to frostbite just because your sweetie is a ski buff. And once you get wherever you're going, if you decide to stay in the hotel room all weekend with room service and an on-site masseuse while ignoring the historic blah blah blahs? No problem... Nobody's gonna know!

2. You get to sing out loud — badly, without embarrassment — to your iTunes whenever you're home.

3. The remote control is all yours, all the time. And you don't have to worry about anyone else making fun of you because it's switched to Lifetime or hours of NASCAR coverage.

4. You can comfortably put up that Star Wars poster you've had since you were a kid or paint the bathroom walls petal-pink—after all, decorating isn't a team sport.

5. Your friends all instinctively make you their "...and guest" when they go to an event. You get prime invites to concerts (especially popular during the summer), weddings (ditto) and other ticketed events every time someone's significant other has to bail.

20,000 singles join daily...

View photos near you!

6. You get to indulge all of your interests, no matter how bizarre, without negotiating. That means you can hole up with piles of true-crime books or drive an hour for the fairy exhibit at a nearby museum without ever having to explain yourself.

7. You can try all five of Cold Stone Creamery's July-only flavors... twice... before noon... and not have to hide the fact that you ruined your appetite for lunch.

8. When you get to the front of the line at Blockbuster, you know with certainty that you're not going to have to pay someone else's late fees for a movie you'd never watch.

9. You never, ever have to look over your shoulder before drinking straight from the milk carton. In fact, being single means you can leave the toilet seat up, the toothpaste cap off and your dirty undies on the bathroom floor. Let your inner slob run free!

10. You get to go to parties and barbecues without worrying that the person you lugged with you is bored, annoyed, or getting embarrassingly drunk. (And you get to flirt with every hot prospect there!)

11. If a sexy, brooding plumber with a mysterious past moves in next door and captures the attention of all the local ladies, you don't have to agonize over whether or not to leave your mate to pursue your one shot at true love. If things click, you're untethered, and it's game on, toilet boy! (For guys, substitute a pair of sexy blonde cheerleader twins for the brooding plumber.)

12. Nobody ever hogs your side of the bed, steals your covers, wakes you up with freezer-toes or flops his or her sweaty night-bod on you. And every single night, you nod off knowing that you're in the company of someone who really loves you.

Single girl Laura Gilbert is a freelance writer in New York City. Her recycling often consists of nothing but Domino's boxes and Gatorade bottles, and she's proud of it.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.

You are my Everything

2009-06-26T13:04:00.000-05:00

BBW fetish or fancy?

2009-06-15T11:49:00.005-05:00

Big and Beautiful.
BBW
Plus size
Queen size
We, they, are everywhere.
The issue is obvious---overeating.
Stigmatized, criticized, ostracized,
Still needing love and resenting the fact that it's so hard to find.
OKAY so there are men, apparently, who like BBWs.
Who fancy the lush, plush, huggable, squeezable oversized sex goddesses.
Why are those men viewed as freaks?
We don't view breast men as freaks.
Or thigh men as freaks.
Or men who like slender, wispy women as freaks.
Why are BBW fanciers considered freaks even by the women they love?
I have to say, I met one such man recently. Even I looked at him sideways, wondering what was wrong with him.

oh man, its like a train wreck!

2009-06-11T00:04:00.001-05:00

Watch the whole skit here >> (better version)

Is he into me?

2009-05-16T10:49:00.002-05:00

From now on, this is going to be my theme book. I have to grow up and do things right this time and just gonna have to bite the bullet!

Too funny!

2009-05-16T10:10:00.001-05:00

This cracked me up. lol.

she said peanis! giggle.

2009-05-15T15:46:00.000-05:00

The Man Song

2009-05-14T18:28:00.001-05:00

AWWWWW poor baby. It's hard being a man.

cuddly bears

2009-05-14T17:51:00.001-05:00

Scary scary. But can't tear my eyes away.

Give it a rest, Kirstie!

2009-05-13T20:31:00.001-05:00

Okay, give me a break. In this clip, she doesn't look so bad. What is the deal. Give it a rest already. Does she think we stay up at night worrying about her weight? Do we really care if she ever wears a bikini again? NO she is a beautiful woman when she isn't whining about how much she ways. Suck it up and deal with it, Kirstie. Those who love you love you.

Jay Thomas' Lone Ranger Story

2009-05-13T20:15:00.001-05:00

This cracks me up EVERY time!

Happy Slip, I love you

2009-05-06T22:18:00.000-05:00

Oh MY GOSH uhmmm?

2009-04-28T16:02:00.001-05:00

Basic Rights in a Relationship

2009-04-20T14:38:00.001-05:00

Basic Rights in a Relationship

If you have been involved in emotionally abusive relationships, you may not have a clear idea of what a healthy relationship is like. Evans (1992) suggests the following as basic rights in a relationship for you and your partner:

The right to good will from the other.
The right to emotional support.
The right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy.
The right to have your own view, even if your partner has a different view.
The right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
The right to receive a sincere apology for any jokes you may find offensive.
The right to clear and informative answers to questions that concern what is legitimately your business.
The right to live free from accusation and blame.
The right to live free from criticism and judgment.
The right to have your work and your interests spoken of with respect.
The right to encouragement.
The right to live free from emotional and physical threat.
The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage.
The right to be called by no name that devalues you.
The right to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.

Okay, I'm having really DEEP thoughts right now.

2009-04-13T20:12:00.001-05:00

Is this YOUR mother? If not, it's FUNNY lol

2009-04-05T14:13:00.000-05:00